With ears to see part 1
by diraemythos
Summary: Being that times change, and people don't, naval life is still full of gossip- even on prototype spaceships. General, romance in the future, hopefully.
1. Chapter 1

part 1 in a several part fic. maybe more parts in Chapter 2. Or not.

rating: worksafe? safe for now. Future? Dunno yet.

Characters- Kaidan, Ashley, Liara, Shepard

summary- Kaidan and Liara make baby steps from being recluses. Varied results.

With Ears to See (part 1)

_Scuttlebutt in slang usage means gossip deriving from the nautical term for the cask used to serve water (or, later, a water fountain)._

_The term corresponds to the iconic colloquial concept of a water cooler in an office setting, which at times becomes the locus of congregation and casual discussion. Water for immediate consumption on a sailing ship was conventionally stored in a scuttled butt: A butt (cask) which had been scuttled by making a hole in it so the water could be withdrawn. Since sailors exchanged gossip when they gathered at the scuttlebutt for a drink of water, scuttlebutt became Naval slang or gossip or rumors._

_Kaidan trudged to the mess hall and plopped his tray onto the table. A second tray plopped down across from his and he looked up in time to see gunnery chief Ashley Williams mutter something under her breath._

_"Something on your mind?"_

_Ash looked as tired as he felt., but she smiled nonetheless. "Nothing important, its just-" (and she spooned some glop to illustrate) "-this. This... I don't even know what to say about it. THIS."_

_Kaidan mirrored her tense smile._

_"Kinda makes you wish the navy went back to hard-tack doesn't it?" she asked, illustrating the stretchy viscous texture of the food with her spoon._

_"Gluten is a versatile product," Kaidan recited. "Since the advent of gene-mods combating allergies, it can be widely used and distributed. Highly malleable. Able to serve as filler or a staple on its own. Nutritious easily supplented, low calorie, twenty-one grams of protein per ounce and zero cholesterol."_

_"Mm-hmm," Ashley drawled. She placed her chin on one hand and eyed him. "Of course you'd have that all memorized. Probably buy into the motivational 'team-building' vids, too."_

_"The production values aren't half bad," he shrugged._

_He hadn't meant it to be funny, but Ashley seemed to think it was. She actually laughed. Threw her head back and everything._

_"It's not you," she explained. "Oh man, I must be more tired than I thought."_

_"I thought that was part of the job though- team building and motivation, that is," he huffed._

_"Of course it is," Ash said indulgently. "But I prefer to 'team-build' in the field and motivate in person. Its not something I appreciate being force-fed in a vid... I swear the Alliance gets more and more corporate by the day."_

_"Good point," Kaidan said, as he ate._

_"...So," Ashley began tentatively._

_He felt himself tensing more than usual at that tone. "What?"_

_Ashely chewed her food more carefully than the soft gluten deserved. The woman seemed to sense that she could get away with a lot in his presence. She joked, teased and disagreed with him with almost too much familiarity. But ever since their return from the citadel, it had been like she'd smelled blood in the water. If there was the illusion of rank between them before, it was gone after._

_She and the commander had been admiring the view of the city, and marveling at the size of the population- the number of races struggling to keep peace and not rock the boat._

_Shepard wondered why they wouldn't want to welcome humanity with open arms. Earth had rich oceans, beautiful women- this emotion called love. They had everything to be desired according to their own hype._

_"In that case, there's no reason they wouldn't like you- us. Humanity." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, feeling the scrutiny of them both boring into his back._

_The way Ash looked at him then was exactly the same look she was giving him now._

_She shrugged nonchalantly. "I hear you and the commander have been chatty lately."_

_"Just debriefing," Kaidan said, raising his hands._

_"Mm-Hm," Ash said again. "Oh, speaking of debriefing, what do you think of our new addition- T'Soni? Did you discuss her at all? Because I might be a little weirded out by having her on the team."_

_Kaidan was formulating a reply when he noticed a lunch tray slide shyly onto the table._

_"May I join you two?"_

_Dr.T'Soni sat down next to Ashley, who smiled as broadly in surprise. He nodded and Liara seemed to relax, sliding her chair closer to the two and digging in to her food with relish._

_"Don't tell me you actually like this stuff,"Ash asked, amazed._

_Liara was all wide doe-eyes and unchecked enthusiam. "Is this not the proper way to consume the dish? My apologies... I suppose as an asari its been ingrained to try new foods from different planets and cultures." She mimicked Ashley's posture exactly, much to her chagrin._

_"Like trying new... nevermind," Ash stammered._

_The table was quiet for several moments and then Liara cleared her throat. "So this is 'down-time' as you humans call it."_

_"Yup. That's us. Living the high life." Ash said, raising her glass sarcastically._

_"Down time... High life. I was unaware that humans equated unstructured time with literal direction. Why is the term then not low-time and Up-life?"_

_Ash and Kaidan found themselves giving eachother an "Are you serious?" look. No way were all asari like this. They had met other asari at the citadel who seemed more... in touch than T'Soni. Either she was a very very sheltered example of her species, or the others had grown out of their... asari-isms._

_"The two of you have served under Shepard for a while, haven't you?"_

_"A little while," Kaidan said, his eyes on the table._

_"I joined even more recently," Ash added. She glanced around and fiddled with her spoon. Awkward..._

_"Oh," Liara said, shifting in her seat. It was almost painful how badly this was going._

_Liara cleared her throat after a while and started again. "What do you know about her? I've looked into her records and asked the other crew members, but no one seems to have had contact with her prior to serving on this craft."_

_Ash's eyes darted up. "You've been asking around... about the commander?" She looked up at Kaidan again but froze. There was a serious chill coming from the Lt. His shoulders had squared, his back was stiff, and his jaw jutted out defensively. He leaned away in his chair and studied the asari with new eyes._

_Liara set her utensils down. "I'm curious to know more about Shepard's past- her likes, dislikes, her personality. What has made her into the woman she is now? I've looked at her records and made some conclusions but the information is scant." She raised a hand apologetically. "I didn't do anything wrong, I don't think. I'm merely curious about her. Shepard is an interesting woman, is she not? She survived contact with a beacon- surely an invasive experience. That's impressive... Right?"_

_"If you've read her records, you know about as much as we know," Ash said. She glanced up at Kaidan, but he had nothing to add so she went on. "War hero up the wazoo, from a colony, proficient in weapons, plays things by the book but she seems to think on her feet too. Not a wordy sort of gal, but if there's anything else you should know I'm sure it'll happen in due time. Just don't listen to the vids about her. They love the backwater hick makes good angle."_

_Liara stared blankly, possibly overwhelmed by so many human phrases in one sitting. "I'm afraid I've already made quite the fool of myself in our last talk." Her voice was soft. "What about you, Lieutenant?"_

_"What do you mean?" he sputtered._

_"Do you- what is your assessment of the commander? Have you talked to her about personal matters?"_

_Kaidan sighed. There was really nothing to say about his chats with Shepard. Mostly she listened as he talked about his past. Maybe he'd opened up to her a bit too much. He never opened up to people, so he was unsure of how it happened. Before he knew it, he was telling her about BAAT training and Rhana- the sort of stuff he hadn't thought about in years. The nature of the job kept one's mind almost solely on the job. It was a blessing most of the time, and yet he felt safe discussing things with her. She hadn't said much about herself- just listened as he rambled._

_He hadn't noticed how long he'd zoned out until he became aware of Ash and Liara chatting politely, if stiffly about other crew members on board. Ash had particular praise for XO Pressley, and Joker was somewhat of an enigma in her opinion. Liara seemed disappointed but listened with interest about the rest of the crew._

_Kaidan was organizing the contents of his locker when he felt someone stride angrily past him._

_Ash fumed as she opened her own locker. "What WAS that back there? You didn't talk to Liara at all, and when you did, you stared at the wall or something. I may not have much experience with aliens but even I know that's rude. You left me stranded to make small talk with her. Thanks a lot."_

_He felt his face heat. "Sorry Chief. I guess I'm just more tired than I thought."_

_The brunette rubbed the back of her neck thoughtfully. "Yeah, there's a lot of that going around. Sorry I snapped at you. How're your migraines, by the way? I keep forgetting about those."_

_Kaidan shut his locker. "Nothing to report. Just need some shut-eye, I guess." He felt bad about lying, but the lie was mostly true at least._

_"You sure? Maybe you should call it a day. I'm sure Garrus could fill in in a pinch."_

_He chuckled. "It's fine, really. Besides, I'm pretty much done."_

_Ash nodded skeptically. She was far too sharp for her own good. "What do you think about Liara? Can she be trusted?"_

_"Wish I knew," Kaidan said, rubbing his eyes in spite of himself._

_"I won't keep you longer," Ash said gently. She lowered her voice and leaned closer. "But if you're curious about what the Skipper and Liara talked about I'd probably ask Joker. Lord knows what he's been listening in on."_

_"Ash..."_

_"Its harmless scuttlebutt," she said quickly. "Just saying."_


	2. Chapter 2

I think I'll go back and change the first part of this story, but maybe later. If I'm gonna retcon, I need to actually make a continuity that needs fixing first.

With Ears to See (part 2)

Shepard was unreadable as she tore past the Normandy's airlocks. More telling was Lt. Alenko's face as he followed a few paces behind, looking a little lost and shut down. His eyes tracked the commander as she fled past the galaxy map, obviously avoiding having to talk to Hackett about the latest assignment.

"LT,"Williams said as she caught Kaidan's arm. "What's wrong? Did the mission... ?"

"Without a hitch," Kaidan replied, his voice more raspy than usual. "Chairman Burns has promised to reconsider the reparations requests. Minimal casualties."

"That's great!" Williams said with cautious cheer. She punched his armored arm lightly. "So... why does the Commander look so pissed?"

Liara slunk gracefully through the quarters of the Normandy. She had noticed the crew relaxing around her somewhat. They still kept an eye on her, but the glances were no longer furtive or hostile. The only risk she seemed to pose to them was cornering them with some query about some human custom or other. Her manner was irksome but amusing, too.

She was ashamed to admit that she'd already forgotten many of the names Ashley had rattled off to her. Otherwise she would have addressed them personally. If they were going to stare, she might as well approach them and make small talk. There was still much to be learned about the ways of humans and the crew.

Take the two at the mess-table for example. One particular nondescript male and a female in a hat always seemed to be sitting there and chatting to each other. She wondered why they seemed to have the most free time of anyone aboard. Were their duties unreasonably light, considering how busy everyone else was?

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," the woman drawled at the befuddled asari.

Liara began to slink back to the to her lab when she nearly bumped into Shepard who was exiting the med-room.

"Lovely to see you," Shepard greeted in her best _I'm mad, but not at you _tones.

"Likewise," Liara sputtered as she walked by.

Dr. Chakwas brightened and waved at the asari.

"Might I have a moment of your time?" she asked before Liara could hide.

"Of course, Doctor. What do you need?"

The doctor pointed to some packs of anesthetic, salve, and various binding agents.

"I just recieved a rush-job request from the commander. I'd appreciate a hand with this batch of field treatment."

Liara was confused."Of course, doctor. But I thought the Alliance already provided you with a large quantity of medi-gel?"

The silver haired woman measured her words. "They do."

"I am confused. What do you mean by 'field treatment' if we are not lacking in medi-gel?"

Chakwas examined an unmarked grey bag. "You needn't worry. There's nothing underhanded about this. I'm just... working something out."

Liara did indeed find that worrisome, but her goddess-dammed curiosity was piqued. "An experiment, then?"

"Something like that," Chakwas said quietly. "I've been given free-rein to pursue some theories that were moldering in my mind. Its not a grant, but perhaps a motivated and well-funded spectre is better. I may need your expertise if I pursue this."

The metallic bags, vials, syringes and canisters stared back at them mutely. "I'll try, but these items don't appear prothean, nor do they appear to be useful in excavation."

The doctor laughed heartily, surprising her.

Kaidan had never been in the Captain- Shepard's quarters before. He didn't know what he was expecting the room to look like, but certainly not sparse like this. No family photos, work related clutter, or personal effects adorned the space at all. It made sense in a tragic way. The woman had no family left. All the people she knew before she was 16 were gone. A world of memories, people, experiences- wiped away.

Shepard let out a tense sigh, breaking him from his musings. She was leaning against the wall nearby and staring at her boot-clad feet.

"I've got the crew walking on eggshells," Shepard said in a somewhat unapologetic way. Did the woman have to be so damn hard to read? Not that he would ever stop trying but a little hint of her mood and reasoning would be nice.

Kaidan peered at the floor dryly. "Nothing underfoot that I can see, ma'am."

She bit her lip instead of smirking. The dim lights glinted off them in a lush and hazy way.

"I hope you aren't thinking that I had you along on this assignment like some sort of token L2," she said finally. She crossed her arms and stared at the floor anew.

"The thought never crossed my mind," Kaidan said quickly. "I'm _glad_ I was there."

"You mean that, don't you Alenko." her voice was almost awed.

Kaidan nodded. "Just try to keep me away from a biotic extremist assignment. I dare you."

He wished she would look up at him already. He liked her eyes when- he liked them all the time, really. Their focus, their intelligence, the way he could find them even in her enviro-sealed helmets. "Don't tell me that's the only issue," he pressed.

She shrugged and laughed softly. "You tell me. You're the one who barged in here."

Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He found himself doing that more and more in her presence.

"Just concerned, ma'am. You didn't fill Hackett in about the hostage resolution, not to mention the crew. And I saw you go into the med-bay... I'm sorry if that's private. Or, that's no big deal. I mean, I just hoped nothing was wrong."

Now Kaidan was staring at the floor. He could feel Shepard's eyes finally on him and heard her- felt her take a step towards him.

"You're a sweetheart, Kaidan," she said as she laid a hand on his shoulder. "But I'm fine. That reminds me... How've you been feeling lately?"

Kaidan leaned back against the wall but Shepard's body was still distressingly near. "Uh. Nothing too bad. I guess I just have a good stress relief." Shepard was biting those soft lips again, and his mouth went dry.

That smirk was sexy and charming as hell but pretty much indecipherable. He hoped this wasn't another case of a woman realizing he was halfway decent. Then they usually played the overly-familiar big-sister thing, which was wrong on so many levels. He got enough of that from Ashley.

"You'd tell me if there was, though?"

Kaidan cleared his throat and nodded. He realized that Shepard was waiting for something from him, a joke, an insightful comment, or a gesture.

"I've taken enough of your time, commander," he felt like a little boy running to his room. "I should get back to my duties." Shepards's hand slid off his shoulder as he dismissed himself. He could still feel its imprint on his skin when he returned to his station.

"Way to man up, guy."

Joker couldn't have caught him more off guard than if he'd stood up in fishnets and did a tap-dance.

"What're you talking about?" Kaidan asked lamely. Was the rumor true that Joker listened in on everything, or was he that transparent?

"Fine, play dumb," Joker said, turning back to his work. "You got some serious issues of self-doubt that are probably rooted in some past trauma. I mean, you choked at the crucial moment just because a little closeness- TENDERNESS puts you ill at ease. Tsk tsk. Can you put yourself in someone else's shoes for a moment and imagine how let down they feel?. How can you just freeze up like that? I get that not everyone is as comfortable with themselves as I am, but come on."

Oh, that.

Kaidan had been tasked with helping Lieutenant Moreau to a routine checkup. Joker was usually fine on his own, on crutches when he had to take a leak. The long walk and stairs down to the med-bay were a whole other matter.

It just so happened that he did need help in the facilities, and Kaidan had used a field to lift him rather than aid half-naked Joker to standing position.

He wasn't proud of it, but it was done. He couldn't take that moment back. "Can we do this already? Chakwas is waiting."

"What is up with you?" Joker said, shaking his head. "I'd say you had a stick up your ass, if there wasn't one already lodged."

"Nothing's up with me," Kaidan replied sharply. "Everyone's got a lot on their mind, trying to keep focused on the task ahead."

"Yeah yeah," Joker said, giving his work a last goodbye and flushing.

"Hello nurse," Joker waggled a brow at Liara who was seemingly aiding Chakwas.

The doctor rolled her eyes in a good natured way. "On the table, Mister."

Kaidan crossed his arms and looked out the door. If he was quick he could slip out or make a graceful excuse.

"Not so fast, Lieutenant," she barked. "I may need an extra hand with him on the table."

"Kinky," Joker snarked. "No mass effect fields this time. Either of you- especially you, I got my eye on you," he drawled in Liara's direction.

"What does he mean by 'no mass effect fields this time?'" Liara asked.

"Nothing," Kaidan said through gritted teeth. "Just tell me what to do, Doctor."

"Stop, you're all making me hot," Joker deadpanned.

"Too much time in that chair, " the doctor chided as she examined him. "You know how important physical activity is. Too many hours spent in one position only aggravates the condition. "Let me see your range of motion. Nothing extravagant."

Joker was sullen as he craned his neck about then waved his arms in a mock interpretive dance. His frail legs were less expressive as they dangled off the table, but he still tried to put a little rhythm in it.

Poor Liara. Her face was puckered with confusion but she seemed charmed nonetheless.

"You like that, did you?" Joker waggled his brow again.

He leaned toward Kaidan and stage whispered. "Women love the charming handicap routine."

"Indeed, it looks very well practiced," Liara agreed.

Kaidan winced in sympathy. "She has you pegged alright."

Doctor Chakwas jotted some notes down and dismissed Kaidan and Joker. Liara fired up her omnitool and reviewed some notes from the day before.

Chakwas's theory was strange and inelegant. Still, it drew her in the more she thought about it.

Human biotics created mass effect fields in their nervous systems by way of nodes that developed at a certain age- through varying levels of element zero exposure. The actual energy all this transmuted was the mysterious "dark energy"- a universal force, like electromagnetism or gravity. Funnily enough, there had known cases where EMGs caused mild side effects that reminded her distantly of some L2 symptoms. Hallucinations, paranoia etc.. Could it be that dark energy in combination with element zero caused the body to interpret mass effect stress as EMG radiation- albeit on a large and horrific scale? And if some elements of epilepsy were like wild EMG trips, could modified epilepsy treatment work on an L2?

Before gene-mods epilepsy treatments were usually in the form of anti-convulsants. Anti-convulsants usually had a mood-stabilizing component which would be invaluable in some of the more severe L2 cases. They also suppressed overload on neurons. Wasn't that part of the problem in any case? If that overload could be suppressed, dispersed and better managed it could mean the end of the cancer, the insanity, and perhaps even migraines?

If this was even a theory worth considering there were a slew of possibilities.

First they would need to test out different drugs and/or topical treatments on several groups with a control group. They would need an L2, and there was only one on the ship.

"He doesn't seem disagreeable to me," Liara said after a while. "He would probably want to know that someone is trying to pursue a viable treatment for this. I see no harm in just asking."

"It's a delicate subject and one that he's put behind him for the most part," Chakwas said almost to herself. "Kaidan is one of the lucky ones. He just gets migraines. I can't ask him to maybe suffer side effects and possible brain damage with no promise of reward when he has so much on his plate already. It wouldn't be fair to all the people who rely on him."

"Some L2's have already died from cancer. In fact, you could say that volunteering on various suicide missions are a form of brain cancer."

Chakwas gave her a stern look. Part of her couldn't help being pleased that Liara was joking more, but the timing was inappropriate.

"I will be delicate," Liara promised.

"Alright. Go ask for his input, nothing more," she relented. "I'm not saying he should take part in this, but you're right. He should know. In the meantime I'll see about procuring some space-hamsters and E-zero and we go from there."

Liara saluted her with the newest human gesture she'd learned in her stay on the ship. A thumbs up.


	3. Chapter 3

Author: diraemythos

- Mass Effect… please don't sue me bioware

Summary- Liara comes out of her shell a little- Kaidan dives back in (Shenko)

With Ears to See (part 3)

"I think they make something to fix that now," Ash joked as Shepard made an awkward turn on the dance floor.

Shepard's eyes were closed in amusement. Her head lolled from side to side as she grooved with all the flair of a one legged geth.

Ashley amended that thought. "You dance like my _mom_."

Shepard's eyes were still closed and she smiled as she danced. "Mothers everywhere, your son's hearts are safe. I'm hear to steal your _moves_."

"Maybe a gene-mod… instructional vids… something," she continued to tease.

Shepard echoed the laughter in her voice and replied over the buzz of bad techno and delirium: "I would argue with that, but as you can see…" she twirled around as if to demonstrate.

The two laughed until their stomach muscles seized.

The two women were no doubt a sight on the dance floor- the only ones wearing standard issue alliance garb, and way more hammered than they had any right to be and laughing like idiots.

"Oh, we have every right to be hammered right now," Ashley said as Shepard realized her half-formed thoughts had sprung from her mouth aloud.

"We've been working like goddamn dawgs! Not just dogs- _dawgs_!"

"In that case…" Shepard grabbed Ash's wrist and dragged her back to the bartender.

The past few weeks had been a rough slog. The errand to find Garoth's brother, Wilem, and Kahoku's men had both yielded tragic results. It was on that note that Shepard had returned to the Citadel- to bear bad news. When Ashley suggested that they go out for drinks, the commander had jumped at the opportunity.

"What do we toast to next?" Shepard asked, holding up a glass of some mystery liquid. "We toasted to Fai-dan… Wilem, … Jenkins…"

Ashley wasn't ready for the mood to sober, even if it would be hours until their systems did. " to Al-Jilani's facial condition…"

Shepard shook her head. Ashley was incorrigible, and thus the perfect drinking partner for a night like this.

Ashley's dark eyes suddenly seemed to gaze inward. "Armistice day is coming up," she said, as quietly as the loud surroundings allowed.

The commander's senses weren't quite as dull as to miss the softening in Ashley's face. She grabbed both their drinks and carried them to a far table. To her credit, she made it look as though she'd been planning on that anyway.

They'd snagged a nice view of outside traffic, and it was somewhat quieter. They could chat without straining their vocal cords and distance gave the illusion of privacy.

"Do you think it's expensive to live here?" Ash said, trying to change the subject.

Shepard eyed her thoughtfully. Ashley was coming to know that look. It was the "_I'm not going to judge you, you're safe, but seriously. Spill it," _look.

"Flux is fun and all," Shepard said, "but I have a feeling there's more to this outing than sheer boredom."

Ashley kept her face neutral. "You happened to be around." It wasn't the whole truth, but it was getting nearer. Anyway she wasn't about to fling information out there that would make her CO think less of her as a soldier or a person for that matter.

"In that case I'm sorry," came Shepard's non-apology.

Ashley waited for the commander to continue, but was only met by that damn look of hers- calm, sure, protective? She sighed and stretched a kink out of her neck.

"To hell with it… You've read my file, so you know about my family, right? My commanders always find out."

The woman sitting across from her quirked a brow, wondering how the bland background would correlate to a date on the calendar.

Shepard tilted her glass from side to side. "There's almost nothing in your files. Technical scores and some crap assignments…"

"There's a reason for the crap assignments, ma'am," Ashley said. She explained that marking the end of the First Contact War was a long held obligation in her family. Her grandfather was none other than General Williams. Shepard already knew the story- everyone did. The general was a brave man, but a scapegoat one. He'd surrendered in the face of horrific human losses. It was an act of compassion in a politically inconvenient time. Shepard wasn't so sure she'd do anything differently if she'd been in his shoes.

"As I recall, your grandfather held out for quite a while."

"They brought him back in irons. Spent the rest of his life working construction… Every so often there's official talk of having him exonerated somehow but nothing comes of it." She laughed. "It takes a special kind of thick-headed to march into a job where your family's blacklisted."

"The best kind," Shepard corrected her. "I don't care what your family did or didn't do in the past. You're part of my crew."

Ashley had been gulping some of her drink to ease the talk along and nearly sputtered on it. "Not to get all cheesy, but that's the first time a CO's ever said that to me."

She suddenly understood why Williams was so tough on herself. Unjust or not, her grandfather's name was synonymous with Quisling.

A worrisome thought occurred to her. "Your grandfather refused to sacrifice lives just to save face. You planning to throw yourself on a sword to save face for him?"

The dark-eyed woman laughed throatily. "Okay, okay, stop! The is getting waay too heavy for me. We're out here to have fun, blow off steam, remember?""I got something here you ladiez cn' blow," a very round and balding man slurred. He leaned over Ashley, and swayed dangerously.

"Seriously?" Ash grimaced. She and Shepard shared a pained look.

"There's no gud reason two fine honeys like yourself are alone like this." The man looked around, seemingly assured that the spot was private enough. His hand moved to expose his crotch and suddenly both women were on him- perhaps not in the way he had intended. Ash pinned one of his arms behind his back and Shepard's pistol was a fuzzy metallic gleam in his eyes. If the booze made them a little too harsh, a little too enthusiastic, so be it.

"I don't think the aliens here are in need of a human anatomy lesson, thanks," Ash growled.

"Actually we're technically the aliens here, "Shepard said conversationally.

"I wasn't doing anything!" the man protested. "Augh!" Ashley twisted his arm back farther.

The harried volus club owner waddled up to them along with a bouncer. "Commander Shepard!" he greeted with distress. He really did look apologetic_, the poor guy_.

Evidently the man had been in prior scrapes with c-sec over this, but that was when Choras Den was still in business.

"Dykes," he muttered as the c-sec officer hauled him away.

"That's the third time you've helped me out," he said, scratching his brow sheepishly. "Please, allow me to clear your tab for the evening!"

Shepard's face was placid as she handed the drunkard off to the bouncer and an off duty c-sec officer stood up to assist.

"No trouble, Doran," she said dryly. "I'll take you up on that on our next visit, maybe."

"Lieutenant!" Liara trotted up to Kaidan as he strolled the corridors. "You are a surprisingly hard man to find. Are you busy?"

If she had asked that a few minutes sooner, or a few minutes later, he could politely disengage. Unfortunately he hesitated a moment too long in his reply. The asari began to walk alongside him to whatever his destination was.

"I was gonna hit the showers."

"Oh…" Liara clamped her mouth shut but continued walking with Kaidan.

"Is there something you needed?"

Liara's pretty face looked troubled for a moment. She hadn't forgotten her promise to be subtle and tactful, but it appeared that time was short.

"I'm curious about human biotics. Asari are born with the ability but humans are not. I have some questions about how the our methods and sensations may differ."

Kaidan felt like a dirty old man for thinking that sounded like a come-on. Luckily he recovered quickly with Liara none the wiser.

"It's been a long day. Maybe later," he said politely. "You could try asking Chakwas about it in the meantime."

"While she may be human she is not a biotic," Liara countered.

Kaidan sighed and leaned against the wall. "Uh. Alright then. What do you want to know?"

Liara collected her thoughts. She was surprised to even get this far. She was starting to suspect that the human male didn't like her. Nothing pointed specifically to that impression- other than intuition. He hadn't shown any inclination to speaking with her when he didn't have to. When he did, his words were always stilted and carefully constructed. Not unlike herself, cold comfort as that may be.

"Er… what Biotic-amp do you use?"

Kaidan rubbed his eyes. "Solaris at the moment."

"Hm… I will have to speak to the quartermaster and see about acquiring a Serrice liscence," she mused.

"The items are quite rare and sought after. Maybe Shepard will have some sort of sway on the matter?"

"As a Spectre, you mean? Couldn't hurt to try," Kaidan said, his interest piquing despite himself.

"Have you spoken with her lately?" Liara asked hopefully. "I have not seen her for quite a while.

"Not since yesterday. She's on a girl's night out with Ash. I thought you'd be with them." Kaidan blurted before he could think. "I mean…. Sorry. I don't know what's going on actually," he said lamely.

"No need to explain, Lieutenant. The Commander is free to spend her off-hours as she sees fit." The asari smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Kaidan shifted nervously.

Kaidan scrubbed his hand through his hair. Someday he would master this small-talk thing.

"Wrex!" he nearly shouted when he saw the krogan wandering towards the lockers.

"What?" he grunted, and Kaidan waved him over urgently. He was surprisingly light footed as he trotted over- looking like a mix between a t-rex and a bison.

"We were discussing biotics," Liara explained. "Weren't we-?" Kaidan had slipped away while she was distracted.

"He doesn't like you," Wrex said simply.

"Well, that fun," Ash said as they entered the elevator to the docking bay. It had come out less sarcastic than she'd planned and she was okay with that.

She'd be sober or hung-over in a few hours but she was okay with that, too.

She was in that delicate state between awareness and inhibition and decided it was a good time to pick Shepard's brain.

"No one spends less time off duty than you, Skipper. What made you agree to a night out?" she asked before the elevator would finish its ascent. _Why her and not Alenko? _

Shepard rubbed her eyes as the doors opened. "Do I need a reason to get out now and then and take in the scenery?"

As if on cue, the lavish array of lights of the city below were open to them. Ash's body made a rubbery T shape as she stretched and drank in the beauty. All the millions of people- strangers, family and friends going about their petty lives below- oblivious to possible galactic destruction… The thought was more heartening than frightening that day.

"Besides, maybe I just wanted to deflect some of the gossip."

"Oh geeze, you _are_ drunk," The gunnery chief chuckled. "What gossip are you talking about?"

"I can't reveal my sources but scuttlebutt says Alenko, T'soni and I go at it nightly like bunnies."

"Oh, wait, I know that one." Ashley said, sounding disappointed. "How'd you hear about it?"

Shepard ran a hand through her glossy hair. "Everyone says Joker knows all the good gossip but I will always go with Chakwas."

"You lie!"

"Right hand to God. No medical secrets, of course. I don't even think she knows she's doing it. But she has a habit of talking while she's really focused on something. I think it helps her think."

Ashley wiped a tear as her laughter abated.

"I get it now. The Normandy…. it gets kinda stifling in there. And I don't mean the living space. Kinda like when I had to take care of my sisters. I loved them to death- and almost did. I had to get away once in a while. Trust me, you need *you* time. You'll be better for it."

The Normandy was silent in its docking, but seemed to hum with its own pulse and breathing. Ashely eyed the ship as if it and not its passengers were in earshot. It was like a dormant beast. The curving lines were cetacean-esque and full of purpose.. Beautiful. Organic. Poised.

Shepard looked skyward as if it held the answers like a cosmic cheat sheet.

"There's been one thing that's been bothering me," she said after a while. "_One_ of the things, anyway."

Ash nodded and waited for her to continue.

"It's not wrong- it may even be good - what I want to do, but for some people on board it may not be right. Does that make sense?"

"None whatsoever. But go on."

"I'm one of the lucky few that has the means and will to fix something that's wrong in my neck of the galaxy, you know?"

"Are you bragging, or complaining? Sorry, go on."

"I don't know how much I can say right now, but there's a third party that may be able to help. They just want a show of good faith. A gesture from me. That's where I'm at a loss."

"Hey, as long as its all above the board and by the book, not that I need to tell *you* that. I may not know the details but you can't get more trustworthy than Chakwas. Why don't you ask Alenko for his input?"

Shepard looked her friend in the eye. "When I need advice from the head I go to Alenko. When I need it from the heart I go to you."

Dammit, did the woman always have to be so straightforward and disarming? The way she spoke left no room to doubt that anything she said was not the absolute truth. If they continued to talk about all this mushy stuff, she'd start to feel like they were trapped in a chick-flick.

"Anyway, about the whatever that you've got planned. We're all with you, 100% blah blah blah. You'll figure something out."

Maybe Ashley was oversimplifying. She couldn't imagine anyone not trusting Shepard. She had that effect on people. The problem was good faith on their part. "If all else fails go in guns-a- blazing. That's my two-chits."

She yawned loudly. "I guess that means its time for me to turn in. You coming?"

"In a bit," Shepard leaned over the railing and breathed in the cool air.

"One last thing, Skipper?"

"Yes, Chief?"

"_Do_ you go at it like bunnies?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "_Dismissed_ Chief."

Ashley waved as she boarded the ship. Shepard was already snapping back into her fearless leader role.

It was nice while it lasted.

Kaidan was starting to think it was best that he stop thinking about topics that didn't directly relate to his career. The results were disastrous every time he did. It wasn't that he was rusty and out of practice dealing with other people. He simply had no talent for it.

He slid his bulk into the sleeping pod, noting the scratch marks in places where he'd tap his nails on the surface.

He still couldn't believe he'd run from Shepard- had been kicking himself since. She hadn't dared to do anything more salacious than show concern for him. But in the dim light of her room, she'd looked more sultry than usual. Her eyes had looked luminous and hooded, and her lips were soft and (in his mind) suggestive. The velvety tones that poured from her lips did nothing to quell the libido, either.

It was his fault for barging into her room.

Her _room_. What had he expected- that he could keep his thoughts clean, as a fully grown red-blooded male? What an _ass_ he was.

He'd been a bit starstruck by her since day one. She was easy on the eyes. Very easy on the eyes. Guys fantasized about hot female superiors. It was a natural thing. And yeah, he had her on a pedestal, maybe. A little one. She was a living legend after all. She had saved his life at the spaceport.

He'd once heard Joker say that sexualizing women was a way men coped with having female bosses of any kind. He had scoffed at the time, but it was starting to make sense.

He was in her _room_, probably standing where she'd undress at night…

_Fuck._

He had to leave before he said something stupid. He was already showing a tendency to blurt things out around her and he was acting less and less professional as time went on. Just the other day he caught himself calling her by name and not "Commander" as he usually did.

And then there was this thing with Liara. That woman made him squirm in an entirely different way. He realized that he resented the blue-skinned alien for joining the crew.

It wasn't so much that he felt she had no place there. It was the air of entitlement she seemed to have towards Shepard. The asari had no guile to hide her own obvious crush on the commander.

And she wasn't held down by regs, either.

When had he regressed to being such a child, he wondered to himself. Liara wasn't deserving of his ire. She was older than he was several times over, but still a child by her people's standards. Her position was understandable, too. The commander was intriguing and alluring. Had saved her life and given her a purpose on the crew…

He actually started to laugh and heard it echo in the confines of the pod. He shook his head and eased himself out of the pod. Liara was probably still awake. He owed her a nice, frank chat.

He'd refocus on the job *after* they talked.

Shepard mulled over Major Kyle's tentative correspondence from the Hawking Eta cluster. The man seemed a bit unstable…. Off his rocker, actually. But he was making an effort to contact the outside- insistant that he relate to her as a Spectre and not an alliance CO.

_What were his intentions, then? _

…_.._

_Could she to use her spectre status to transport his followers somewhere safe- somewhere the alliance would not know about?_

Everyone was after Spectre favors, now, she groaned inwardly. Just once she'd like someone to grant her a favor and ask nothing of return. Just once.

_His followers needed protection. They had some needs he did not have the expertise to meet. Could she be trusted?_

"_No alliance involvement," she wrote._

"_Come alone?"_

The omnitool was silent. She could tell them that the alliance military would not be involved. She couldn't exactly hold her crew to that promise, though. Alenko was now ruled out of her plans entirely. He would look like a judas horse to them- leading a herd to slaughter.

"_No deal."_

"_Time running short"_


End file.
